I get lost sometimes. I get lost in the day-to-day. I get lost in the tasks. I get lost in the "Kingdom work".
Funny thing about when I get lost—I'm really lost inside my own head. Lost in my own view of what's important. Lost in my stress and my frustration and my hurt. I start to see people differently. I start to lash out at them for their "wrongdoing" or my preconceived notions of their wrongdoing.
To put it plainly: when I'm lost like this, I lose sight of Jesus. In the work of "serving" Jesus, I forget Him.
Even if I'm forgetting Him in the service of others, even if I forget Him and justify it by saying I love others, even when I forget Him while doing what I think He's telling me to do--regardless of the reason, when I forget Him, I lose sight of Him. When I lose sight of Him, I lose hope, peace, patience, self-control, all of those things.
I sometimes act like people are "getting in the way" of the actual work of serving Jesus. I am ashamed of that. When I forget the reason I'm serving, when I start letting the act of service mean more than meeting the needs of the PERSON, when I do that, I am wandering blindly in the woods following a puppet “God”. A “stick and rags puppet” that I've written the name, “Jesus”, on.
Where is my heart? Where is my tenderness? Where is my empathy? Where are my eyes for the hurting, the broken, the insecure, the unloved, the lost...where is my heart?
I think of Jesus' words in Matthew 10:42, “And whoever gives just a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is a disciple—I assure you: He will never lose his reward!" Jesus just says the simple beautiful truth here, the kindest of acts towards the “least of these”, shows that we are His disciples.
I think sometimes, I'm so busy filling cups of water that I don't actually give cups of water.
I don't want to be that person. I don't want to become the very thing that motivated me to step into this journey of ministry-work. I don't want to be blind to the "invisible", or cold to the hurting. I want to be a cupbearer—someone that brings a cup of water in the name of Jesus. A person that welcomes someone in the name of Jesus. A person that listens to hurts in the name of Jesus. A person who carries the burdens of others in the name of Jesus. A person who loves like and in the name of Jesus. A person who shines the light of Jesus in such a way that it points people to Jesus. I want to remember who I am in Jesus and reflect that to this world—for HIS glory and to lead them to the only source of "living water".
I’m thankful for the moments of clarity that help me recognize my bouts of “Jesus amnesia”. I’m thankful that The Holy Spirit is constantly reminding, redirecting, and guiding me back to Him. I want to be better.
I will be better...because HE deserves it. YOU deserve it.
So, if you’re thirsty and you see me walking around, don’t hesitate to ask me for a cup of water—and after you’ve had your fill, maybe you’ll let me tell you about a person who can and will ALWAYS refill your cup.
His name is Jesus.